The privilege of being a part of “I Remember Justine…” has certainly afforded me the opportunity to push the boundaries of my recovery in several ways. One uncomfortable moment was having to ask for a smaller role in the play because I had recently undertaken a big life commitment in going back to school and I did not feel I could devote the necessary time to the production. This was mortifying. I can’t do it all. I’m not perfect. But then I realized (with some prodding from Laura,) I am doing what I need to take care of myself and prioritize my life’s work. This was my mantra for several of the weeks the cast was rehearsing while I was home studying. I had to be reminded of this informed decision I made the other night at rehearsal. I felt really guilty not being more a part of the production. I had seen such growth in my cast mates I was so proud them. But what about me? What had I done to push my recovery in this process? It made me feel very sad. So sad I was in tears. Yet again I was comforted by Laura’s words. Look for my own recovery learning point: balance. Balance! Something I can take away from this experience. I need to continue to work on balance in my life so I can embark on a multitude of things I want to do at any given time and not feel boxed in by one commitment. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It doesn’t have to be me feeling guilty for doing what I was capable of doing in those moments. It’s about taking care of myself by having balance in my life. That’s recovery right there!
-Post by Melissa Franolich